Back to TEXAS

First Long Road Trip in a long while. Niceville Fl to Salado TX, Austin TX, College Station TX, Tomball TX, Lafayette LA, Home.

Wed 14/ Day 1

Started by delivering another painting to help support Vet Church. We need money so I’m doing paintings in exchange for donations to Vet Church. The customer liked the painting. I hope the person who is receiving it as a gift likes it also. Then loaded the new van (2007 Sprinter FREIGHTLINER 3.0 turbo diesel). Yesterday I changed oil, oil filter, cabin filter, air filter, got the headlight covers cleaned, moved the seat back (had to take out the sink), took care of tires, cleaned everything. Today I built a jig to hold a small A/C window unit in the front window.

It’s currently running. I’m parked at Sam Houston Jones State Park in Louisiana. It’s just too hot to sleep without the A/C.

The drive was excellent. I forgot my gas cap in Mississippi. Had a Vet call as I was pumping gas and it threw off my routine. Auto zone and orylie don’t have this cap, maybe a Napa will, we will see tomorrow.

On this trip-

Gonna be playing some music. Seeing some old friends. Making some new friends. Doing a Vet Church interview. And consulting with some folks about building fellowship for veterans around church.

Y’all pray for me. Pray for this vehicle. Pray for our souls, our nation, our intentions.

Day two

Was awesome. Started out by finding a fit for the gas cap that I forgot on the pump in Mississippi. I was pumping gas and a Veteran called. Well, he called right as I was about to get out of the van and pump. I decided not to answer and just pumped the gas. The Veteran left a message. I began to think about the Veteran more than I was thinking about what I was doing. I drove off and left the cap for the tank behind. On the return home I will pull in and see if it’s still there.

Anyway, Larissa from Advanced Auto Parts in Sam Houston Jones Louisiana went through a bunch of gas caps till we found a fit. She was awesome. I was/am thankful. Hopefully when I get home, I remember to send her some Vet Church stickers and a CD. A few moments later I was rolling into Texas.

Texas is a special place for me. I was stationed at Fort Hood. We lived in Base Housing on Fort Hood. I went to the National Training Center, in California from Fort Hood. I flew into Bangor Main from Fort Hood (on my way to Afghanistan). I flew back from Afghanistan and returned to Fort Hood. We got Link (our dearly departed Schnauzer) on our way to Fort Hood. I was surprised by my wife with tickets to a Tori Amos concert while we were stationed at Fort Hood. And I could go on and on. But Fort Hood isn’t the only reason I like Texas.

I like Texas because of the people. The people from Texas and the people who still live in Texas. For instance one of my very best friends, Rick Earls, loved Texas. He died last year and as I was driving through Texas I thought of the several rode trips that he drove with me to play music in Texas. When I think of Rick, I also think of Jeremy. He too has gone on ahead. Rick was several months older than me and Jeremy a couple years younger. I miss them both. At tonight’s show Keith Jordan showed up. He was Sergeant First Class Jordan when we went to Afganistán.  We talked of people we still know from Colonel Bradley White, to Sergeant First Class Eric Walker both Retired Army to Sergeant First Class Douglas Holden who died two years ago. His death really dug into my soul.

There are also the people not related to the military that I know here in Texas. The owners of Barrow Brewing Company here in Salado where I played tonight. Excellent people. Emily Grace Clark who I will be playing with on Saturday. My good friend Dave who I am going to surprise Sunday (dave if you happen to read this post please act surprised when I call you late Saturday night).  I’m hopefully going to see some of the other folks from the Brigade Support Battalion while I’m here in Texas… now I’m beginning to ramble. And it’s 0215.

I’m staying the night in the Stage Coach Inn in Salado. I booked the room before I bought the Stealth Van. Again thank you Cowboy Johnson (he is a Texas Music Legend) for selling it to me, Tony T-bone Montgomery for telling me about it, and Amy B Wyatt for making it happen. Cowboy called on my journey today. We talked about the van and music and Texas. Did I tell ya I love being in Texas?

I do love being in Texas. Had lunch at Cowboys BBQ in Salado. It was GREAT! For dinner I  had a pizza from the truck outside Barrow Brewing Company it was GREAT! I’m looking forward to breakfast. And yes I’m also hoping that Tysons Tacos in Austin is still open.  For some reason I just thought about a Quentin Terrentino movie that was Austin based (hint there was a stunt man).

Did I tell yall that I’ve played a few shows in Texas. I’ve played in Austin a bunch of times and Salado (even before tonight). Dallas, Wylie, Fort Worth, Fredericksburg, Houston, to name a few others. The most beloved was Lukenbach Texas. Willie and Waylon were not there but the boys were and we tore it up. That show is still special to me.

Well, I gotta get some sleep. Let me post this, sleep a few more hours. And then see what this day brings. TEXAS I’M Glad to be back!

Day 3

What is it about a song? The words all placed together in some kind of eternal order. The motion of emotions, the bending and blending of notes and harmonies intertwined. The language of the soul.

If I stop I would fade away. I pray God gives me another day. I like this camper van stuff. The way it works. Do I deserve such luxury? My answer is “heck no!”

Tyson’s Tacos are soo good. I absolutely love playing the guitar. I like the way the guitars that I have been entrusted with sound. It’s like we are in a partnership together. Sometime down the road I want to get a Rainsong 12 string. They made a few of them. Currently the cost is an issue but it won’t be forever.

I easily get overwhelmed. Why? I don’t know. I think about the stuff going on and I wonder how it’s gonna work out. It’s one of those text book answers. God knows. And I know He knows. I wanna know too but I ain’t God and I ain’t even a god. I feel like prostrating and praying for just having such thoughts. I repent in open and public restoration of my soul.

How do people get in the places that they are? Today I was given a ticket after paying to park. I found a cop, he said, “those folks are crooked.” I saw a lady use the toilet in the gutter. I met a lady who has given her whole life to making life better for others. I bent the strings till I found the right notes. I drank beer that had no alcohol. I wandered around and wondered at it all. I met another lady who told me about the work her husband does with veterans and motorcycles. I thought about the motorcycles I used to own and the one I sold to do the Vet State álbum. It’s a raw, real and authentic album. I drove in Austin Texas Traffic and did not wreck. I sang Killing The Blues with two amazing women. I met new people. I met different people. I found myself in an opportunity to help one sibling reunite with another sibling (one is a Veteran -think CAV). I saw some amazing art. I am looking forward to later today when I get to talk with a man I haven’t seen since we came back from Afghanistan.

I don’t know where it ends. This ride I’m on. I don’t wanna know. I just want to ride.

The world is filled with wonderful people, all made in the image of God. How could I ever shun them, avoid them, turn away from their pain? I remember a conversation way back when and I was sitting around playing music with another Veteran. I said, “I’m gonna change the world.” He said, “music won’t change the world.” Well, I think he was right and wrong. Music won’t change the “whole world,” but it is changing “my world.”

🌎

Day 4

Being on the road started with a command from a Commander. In fact all of Vet Church started with a command from a Commander. It wasn’t the voice of God speaking through the Great Commission. It was the voice of my Commander from Afghanistan. He said, “I want you to go play that music to all the people in the BSB (Brigade Support Battalion).” I said, “Sir, you understand that’s like 900 something people.” He responded, “that’s right all of them.” I said, “How?” He said, “You’ll figure it out.”

I did. Well, I figured out some of it. I learned to play the guitar better. I learned to sing better. I made friends in the music industry. I wrote better songs and improved the ones I had already written. I joined The Last Honky Tonk Music Series. I asked people to help me,not easy to do. I have occasionally asked for money, even harder to do. I’ve had moments of doubt. Moments when I wanted to quit.  There were health issues. There was doubt. Before Covid hit I had traveled 165,000 miles around the US. I was playing for everyone I could. But I am still a long way away from playing for “everyone” in the BSB.

Friday night I played at The Hole In The Wall in Austin with Emily Grace Clark. I did Save Your Breath and played guitar on all of her songs. It was fun. The crowd was good. I have a good time playing guitar.

Saturday I played a solo show at The Hole In The Wall. It was a big deal to play there. This time I started with PTSD and ended with OMG. I did a lot of others songs also.

As I was playing, through the doorway walks the retired 1SG (First Sergeant) with whom I went to Afghanistan. I played WAR from the Today album (you can download for free most of my music on the Vet Church site or you can find it on all those other sites by searching for Matthew Owen Williams). WAR is a song about my time in Afghanistan with the First Infantry Division, Big Red One. After the show the 1SG, his wife and I went to a wings place to eat (one of my favorite meals is wings). I had not seen 1SG and his wife since we returned from Afghanistan in 2009. The reunion was epic. It’s at times like that I find myself wishing Kate was with me. Although I know she is doing the work that God has called her to do I still sometimes wish she was traveling with me. It’s easy to forget that the spouses all shared something too. The military family life is not easy. Don’t just thank a Vet, thank their family members. They serve in a very special way.

Later that evening I visited another one of my Veteran friends who lives in Austin and played a small house concert for him and another Army Veteran. It was pretty awesome. There was a cat and I didn’t even get the usual itchy eyes.

I rolled back to the campsite around midnight. Set up and went to bed. Before I went to sleep I glanced at the FA cup final game. I said to myself, “I’m just gonna watch a few moments. I will watch the rest of it on Sunday. Well, I stayed up and watched the team we follow lose.

I’ve been on a losing team before. I know what it’s like to face defeat. I know what it’s like to feel like nothing is working out. I know what it’s like and I empathized with the guys. Ugh. Loss! Why? And then ya remember it’s not about winning or losing it’s about playing the game. Of course no one who actually plays the game does so hoping to lose. We all hope to win. I want to win every single time.

When they medically retired me it felt like a huge loss. Like I had failed. One day I was an Army Chaplain and the next day I was Matt. Sure I was still Ordained. I still had a Dr. degree. I was still married (many, many Veterans went through divorce). I still had friends. But I was just Matt and somehow at that time being Matt wasn’t enough.

Down at the VA they tried to help with some medication therapy and actual talk therapy. The talk therapy was great. The medication not so much.

Sure it was a struggle. I became personally familiar with suicidal feelings. I mean what was the point of living? Being drugged up has some weird effects. Well, it was a long journey and I got off all those medications. I reconnected with God. And I found reason and hope again.

Talking with other Vets, I discovered that many of us experienced the same feelings. Many of us have felt like we needed someone to tell us to go do something. I’m glad that the Commander told me to go play music. When I say he gave me a “command,” it is because in the Army when the Commander tells you to do something they refer to that as a “lawful order” a “command.” Christ gives one of those, we call it the Great Commission.” The Great Commission starts out with the word “GO.”

So here I am on the road again. Going around. Talking to Veterans. Encouraging our Tribe. Being a light. Being authentic. Being vulnerable. Being real. Being Matt. Being a musician.

And I am loving it.

Day 5- Sunday

I had set the alarm for 0630. The thought was that waking up at 0630 would give me plenty of time to get up, break camp and get to All Saints Episcopal in Austin by 0800. That’s when the Sunday service began. I wanted to go to the morning service with my friend David Peters. I wanted to take the sacrament (communion) with him. The Blood and The Body restore and redeem us. Both David and I need this.

Of course I slept through the alarm and woke up at 0730. It was an 18 minute drive. I could do it. I knew I could. I broke camp. 4 quick minutes. Ugh, I need a shower. 10 minutes. So what, I’ll be a few minutes late. Wow, no traffic. I was gonna be just a couple minutes late. Misread the phone took a wrong turn. Got there about 0830. I jumped out of the van, Shirt in Hand, and headed for the door. I forgot my wallet. Back to the van, climbed in the van, grabbed my wallet (something’s need constant oversight when you’re traveling). I got back out of the van, shirt still in hand and almost ran into a huge man. He said, “you can’t park here, this is church parking!” I said, “I’m going to church.” He replied, “the service is over.” I kept moving, pulling on my shirt, over my shoulder I said, “I’ll be in time for the mass.” I headed towards the door wondering if he would have the van towed.

I made it just in time. We stood side by side. Two Army Vets, two men, too many problems to list, too many wrongs to right, too few hours to live, too few moments to squander, too thankful to explain and too inept to express our gratitude… we ate the bread, we drank the wine. I was late and right on time.

Introductions were made. I shook hands. We walked around the room. David showing me the stain glass and I trying to take it all in. I took a picture of the St Micheal window.

Afterwards we went to a donut shop (Shipley’s south Austin), a group of Veterans meet there every Sunday. Someone asked me to grab my guitar and play. I did. The Vietnam Vets loved it. The encouragement was immense. I am doing the right thing with my life. Sometimes I just need moments like those to help me realize that I am actually doing what God has gifted me to do. They wanted more and more but I needed to go. I was headed towards Fort Hood Texas. My old duty station.

When I got up that way I met up with a rather famous man. A man I had worked with in Afghanistan. A man who put the lives of his people above his own life. He was and is a real leader. In Afghanistan before the soldiers would mount their vehicles to drive outside of the wire into the treacherous Korengal Valley he would give this last motivational speech. He was the Convoy Commander and he gave epic speeches. The type of speeches where life and death hung in the balance. Life and death was literally in the balance. He would go over the plan one last time. And during the speech he would say several times, “if you’re with me say IED.” All the Soldiers would say “IED.” They didn’t scream it but they didn’t just say it either. An IED is an Improvised Explosive Devise, think land mine -but a bit more innovative. These IEDs killed many American Soldiers. Staying alert ment staying alive and so, every few moments he would say, “if you’re with me say IED” and the reply would be “IED!” They were pumped up and ready.

After the speech before the Soldiers mounted those vehicles and drove off into battle that great leader would say, “Chaplain!” It was my cue. I said a word of encouragement and then I led the group in The Lords Prayer. I then offered communion for those who were Believers.

It was a wild afternoon sitting on that couch in his home outside of Fort Hood Texas. We never left the room but we went to the range out on Fort Hood. We went to Korengal Valley. We saw the Hindu Kush. We made it the palace in Iraq. We felt the heat in Iraq and Afghanistan. We saw the living and the dead. We stood beside graves of Ellis and Brown and many others. We said names and talked about pleasure and pain. We talked about current affairs and a life that although was over lives on inside of us and many others. We talked of our dreams. We talked of our families.

And then the afternoon was over. Hours went by like seconds. We hugged. I climbed back into the Van. I drove to an RV park and set up for the night. I slept the sleep of the dead until I began to dream. In those dreams I saw many familiar faces, bygone places and I woke up refreshed.

Monday had arrived and the tales of that day will have to be told tomorrow.  I get that I’m a few days behind. It’s tough to experience all this and write about it too.

Is Vet Church important? Does Vet Church matter? It would be good for you to go to Vet Church dot Com and read the “why Vet Church matters” section. It’s a section where people who believe in vet Church are writing -Their words not mine, real and authentic. It would be helpful if more people sent me a few sentences that I could put up about why it matters. Will you? I hope you do.

It takes a lot of money to drive round and do this work. It also takes a toll. At the coffee shop group one of the Vietnam Vets had said to me, “you gotta talk about it, bottling it all up will just cause you to explode.” If we’re gonna have the money for me to be out here talking then more people than just me have to see it as important. That’s why it would help if yall all wrote a word or two about why Vet Church Matters.

Oh I gotta leave ya with this. Saturday night with my former First Sergeant and his wife I had wings for dinner. Sunday night with this famous leader and his wife I had wings for dinner. I like wings. I don’t do slot of sauces, just wings. I prefer baked to fried. The only thing that bothers me is how many chickens they gotta kill for me to get my fill. I can eat a flocks worth of wings and legs.

Day 6-7-8

6 > I don’t know what it is about a deployment to war but somehow it stays with you. On the 6th day I talked with 2 Veterans that I had not seen since we had come back from Afghanistan. And a couple of others. All in all this trip I had the pleasure of meeting with about 13 Veterans. Some had gone to Vietnam, some to Iraq, some to Afghanistan and some from the base, fort, installation down the road. It was tough to see everyone.

It was tough because the what’s in you comes out. Memories stick in you. Moments bygone are larger than life in recollection. There are emotions that arise when you see someone you haven’t seen for a few years. It brings back some stuff I had forgotten.

There are good things too, it’s not all bad. I had forgotten about the “case of the shrunken PT uniform.” It happened like this…

…One morning I went to take a shower. Now even for guys like me who spent the majority of my time on a FOB (Forward Operating Base) a hot shower was a treat. So, my morning ritual of a shower after a good run was excellent. This event took place around 0900 or 1000 hours. I normally had responsibilities that took place earlier in the day. So, there I was post workout and headed to the shower. I placed my towel and clean clothes on the hook, put my dirty clothes in the bag and jumped in the shower. The water was warmish and the soap was cleansing. Now war time showers don’t last long and I was happy to get in and get out, clean and refreshed. But something was wrong. I reached for the towel and then it hit me. The towel had shrunk to the size of a dish towel. My clean PT shirt and shorts had went from size huge to something that would fit a small kid.  I had a small dilemma, what to do. Well, I covered up the best I could and headed for my supply of clean clothes. I opened the door and headed out of the showers. There stood 1SG Denson and several other folks. They were laughing so hard. I had to laugh too. It was straight up funny.

Not everything about life is funny. Not everything about life is sad. Life is never just one way all the time. Change seems to be the common denominator.

I had went to Timmie’s house and played him a song after we had caught up (last time we saw each other was 2010 right before I went to Walter Reed). He is now a counselor. I like his approach to counseling. He does most of his work via the telephone. At one point we got to talking about mutual people we know who are in the Fort Hood area. He told me that Cheif Cheeks was still in the area. He gave me Cheif’s phone number. One the way out I called Cheif.

“Chaplain, How ya been? Come on by (gave me the address). Yeah I’ve got this little shop.”

So I headed that way. There he was. Operation Enduring Freedom 08/09 was just like yesterday. Another Veteran was in the shop and soon other people came and went. I played some music. Emilio a marine of 71 years of age filmed some of the music (he went to Vietnam at 17). He said, “people need to hear this. I’m putting this video on Tik Tok.” The song was PTSD. I started up a Tik Tok. https://www.tiktok.com/@vetchurch1?_t=ZP-8wbgPESy6dr&_r=1

Cheif Cheeks’ store is J and Q Consignment. The address is 4001 E Stan Schlueter Loop Suite 202, Killeen, TX 76542. Chiefs’ son has a clothing brand called HUSTLE LIFE. Cheif gave me a T-shirt. On the back it reads, “GO HARD FOR WHAT U BELIEVE.” That is a concept I can relate to. Y’all stop by the store and say hello to Cheif Cheeks.

Later that day I got to see Rebecca and Chris as I passed through College Station. I played em a song. It was a good visit.

I found a Texas BBQ restaurant. I was hungry so I stopped. I got to the dinner table and the okra on my plate was cold. They made me more. Texas BBQ, it’s hard to beat. Made it to the campground, had to turn around and run to Wal Mart. Ugh! The adventure of it all.

7 -> I slept well. The camp site had laundry. I did a load with the intention of going to my next meeting with a clean shirt.

In the meantime I had a guitar that I needed to have the strings changed. Then it struck me. I should practice playing my songs with only 5 strings so that when I do break a string I can just keep playing. Wow. That was a good experience.

My meeting was with George who is the rector/ pastor/ priest from The Church of the Good Shepherd in Tomball Texas. I sure do like George. He is trustworthy. He cares about all the stuff that’s going on in the Veteran Community. He is a good friend and if you are ever needing a pastor in the Tomball Texas area call George.

For lunch, I ate the beet salad with Salmon. It was good. I also had two glasses of sweet tea (rare treat). Later that evening after dinner and pulling into the KOA really late. I needed to use the toilet. It was locked. I had checked into the KOA way too late to get the code. Lucky me I had an empty glass bottle. I pissed red. What? I called my buddy in FL. Is this red (I sent him a picture -ya know I’m color blind). Yep we talked. He said look it up it’s cause you ate beets. Whew! Cancer scare evaded.

Somehow I only slept about an hour that night. I did the toss and turn. I was restless and wide awake. At 0400 I broke camp.

8-=> I was wide awake and rolling. Headed home from each trip is somewhat strange. It’s strange because I start doing this mental math. A breakdown of every little thing. Analysis.

8 days away from home

16 or so conversations with Veterans

Miles traveled 1788

8 times I broke out the guitar and played music for someone

Several deep conversations about God

$326.61 spent on diesel fuel

1 hotel stay, 6 campground stays I don’t have that all added up but I think about $400. Maybe a bit less.

Meals… I’m not a huge fan of eating and traveling. I hit grocery stores and hold off till I really just need a good meal. I don’t have any clue of the extra cost associated with this.

1 gas cap lost and another one purchased

Several intense phone conversations

Is it worth it. Well, let me put it like this - go to the Vet Church website and read the why Vet Church Matters section.

It’s the first trip back out on the road. I’m glad that I took it to Texas. I’m headed to Massachusetts in June. With stops in DC, Tennessee, Vermont and maybe several other places. I will be meeting with several Vets and some music family. I’ll be meeting with the Chaplain who was my supervisor in IRAQ.

Oh these plans… like the old folks used to say, “Lord Willing.”

Thank Y’all for being part of Vet Church through your prayers, presence and financial help.