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Alone


Today I passed a bench with the word ALONE painted on it. Made me think of you and me. The big YOU, sometimes it is an understood you, a silent you. Sometimes I am listening to you. Sometimes I am talking to you.


You are never ALONE yet you are always alone. It’s the dichotomy of things in this life. Sometimes we call it -exceptions to the rule. Sometimes we begin to realize that thing are just how they are.


Over the years I have know several people who were passionate Believers in Christ and then all of a sudden they declared that they no longer believe. I have kept up with a few of these folks and the others sorta just drifted out of my life. Are they alone? I wonder. I contemplate if I was ever with them. Another friend and I were recently talking on the phone over the ocean and he pointed out that in order to “not believe” there must be some premise of belief.


Complicated?


Yeah, for me too. This Camino de Santiago is complicated. I am wore slap out. We walked 14 miles today.


My blister is a mess but doesn’t hurt as bad as it did 7 days ago. In fact I cannot even see it for all the moleskin like stuff wrapping it up. My back hurts. The same pain in the back that put me out of the Army. Everything hurts.


And everyone knows about hurt. You have hurt. We all have. And pain has the character to be both physical, mental and spiritual.


The pain of being alone addresses all three of these planes. Physical pain is easy to describe and you will immediately be able to relate. Even if you have never had a back problem you have a back and can easily imagine the anguish of carrying a backpack all day. Mental pain takes us to a different level. If you have not experienced PTSD it is hard to relate to PTSD although it is not difficult to be empathetic and caring. (And the physical stuff of PTSD is easily related) Spiritual pain is also another level. Those who feel betrayed and abused by God are not alone.


Many people experience Spiritual pain.


Moral Injury is spiritual pain.


Although I’m walking this Camino with Terry, I am alone a lot. There are people everywhere and some of them speak my language but I’m still alone.


I’m also always with God and His Angels. I have been praying a lot on this Pilgrimage. I’m not alone in my prayers many of y’all are also praying with me.


We are staying the night at Albergue de Pobeña. Tomorrow will be another day. Another opportunity to be with someone. To share the burden and the joy.


Buen Camino

2 Kommentare


Alan Brott
11. Apr. 2023

You’ve written some things thus far that have really moved me emotionally. But this post today really just tugged at my whole being. This post I appreciate on a different level. I think I’ll have to sit with this one a while and fully process it. Many prayers for you and Terry. Much love to you brother.

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dudka21
11. Apr. 2023

Glad y’all found a good place to stay. One step at a time, Matt. You can do this. I believe in you and your life.

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